Today’s Police Blotter brought to you by The Grassy Beast and XXXMas.

Hey! Do you like voting for things? Do you like tiny, tiny short stories? Then go check out the first-round winners in Group 4 of the Tweet Me a Story contest, and vote for mine! It’s the one with my name on it (Gardner Linn, if you’ve forgotten). More info on Tweet Me a Story here.

Happy birthday, Will.